Not again!

Last week was a very stressful one from starting it off learning the news that our brigade lost 2 soldiers to ending it with all of the budget drama with everybody wondering how long we were going to go without a paycheck Thank goodness all of the worries about the budget were for nothing, and for once believe it or not I was actually looking forward to a Monday, which meant a fresh start. Sadly, this week is starting out all too similar to last week......we got another red message today that gave the heartbreaking news that we lost another brave hero from our brigade, once again from the same unit that had to handle the awful news last week. Just over a month into their deployment and they have suffered 3 casualties. I can't even begin to explain my feelings right now. My prayers and thoughts go out to this soldier's family and friends.  This situation is so scary. While this war has been going on for so long that a lot of Americans who don't personally know anyone affected by it seem to often times forget our country is still at war, it is all too real for some of us others.

My husband's unit left 3 months before the rest of the base so while the deployment is new to a lot of the wives here, I was finally getting to a point where we had somewhat of a routine and I knew what to expect, or at least THOUGHT I knew what to expect. Our first 4 months of the deployment were relatively quiet with not a lot of bad news or huge scares.  Even though I still worried, I was actually getting to a place where I had let my guard down a little & had learned how to sort of push the worry to the background of my mind; it was still there but controllable. All of a sudden, things seem to have changed so fast. Little did I know I had been somewhat spoiled by the relatively safer winter months of the war. I have since learned this is the natural pattern of the insurgency & violence there for the last 10 years. Although Afghanistan is never a safe place to be, with attacks still happening daily no matter what time of the year, the violence coming from the insurgents is always much more subdued during the winter months as their efforts are hampered by the frigid cold & snow. Knowing that we have a long summer ahead of us, that knowledge is not very reassuring.

Even with all the burden and worry I'm carrying, life goes on as normal as is possible. I wake up every morning & do all the usual things. Today, I sent my 15-year-old son off to a camp with the local youth group that will last 5 days (that will at least give me something else to worry about if I need a break from worrying about the usual LOL). I worked and then ran a few errands before coming home to wait online for the highlight of my day.....a chat with my husband! So thankful for the internet & being able to hear from him and know he's ok. Now, it's almost time for me to snuggle up with my little girl and watch the movie we rented before bedtime. Everybody says to find things to keep yourself busy during a deployment so that the time doesn't drag on. With a job and 2 kids to take care of, keeping busy has never been a problem for me. Still, even keeping busy isn't enough to keep me from worrying.

Somehow though, I still have faith. Even after all the worry and sadness that fills my heart, at the end of the day when I say my prayers for my soldier and the many others who are also there, I go to sleep knowing he's going to be safe and make it back to us. I can't let myself consider any other scenario.