I can still remember the day I found out we were getting stationed in Germany. My emotion was somewhere in the middle of excited & terrified! I have lived in the same small town my entire life, where everybody knows everybody & my family is all there. The thought of moving anywhere was scary enough so imagine how I felt to be told I'm moving to a whole different country where they speak a whole different language!
Being thrown into unfamliar settings, away from family & friends, is just part of the military. That's one of the hard things about being in the service- you move a lot & are always separated from your extended family. Just like almost anything else in the world though, that negative thing you hate also has its positives if you really think about it. I have learned so much & grown as a person over the last year and a half. I have been able to travel to places that never once did I imagine I'd see in my lifetime. Places such as Rome and Paris, the places I'd only read about before.
Experiencing another continent has also been a good experience for my children. They have been exposed to all sorts of different cultures & people from various places around the world. One of the most important differences I've noticed about Europe is that there seems to be a lot less racism. I guess it's because there are so many countries so close together, so they are used to seeing different kinds of people and so it's no big deal to them. When we go out in public off base, we don't get the same stares I'm used to having to ignore back home. This is also true of the military families on base. Since you have people from so many different backgrounds all in one place, everyone is so much more tolerant of eachother. Sure, you've got your exceptions but not one time has my bi-racial son had the problem of having a girlfriend he has to break up with once her parents find out about him. This was all too common before. I won't ever forget overhearing a conversation between him & my niece about a month after we got here. I heard him tell her in such a happy voice, "I love it here. The teachers don't even care what color you are...they treat everybody the same." That was an eye-opening moment for me & the moment that reaffirmed to me we had made the right decision with joining the miltiary.
All this doesn't mean that I don't miss home. I do. Georgia will always be my home & whether we decide to extend our contract in the military or not, I know eventually we'll probably end up back there. I am just thankful for the experience and the fact that my kids now know there is so much more to the world than just the town we came from. I hope this opens up their eyes to all the possibilities of what they can strive for and achieve and that instead of just accepting things the way they are, they now know there are other choices.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
FACEBOOK STATUSES, DRAMA, AND CATTY ARMY WIVES
I’ve been warned about all the extra drama the wives start during a deployment, but today I experienced it firsthand. First of all, let me say I have met some AWESOME ladies since we joined the military & some that I know will be lifelong friends. I’m not sure I could’ve made it through this last year & a half, and especially the first 3 months of this deployment, if it weren’t for their support & friendship. Being thrown into a situation like we live everyday, it’s hard to explain the bond that Army wives share. Nobody fully understands what you’re going through until they’re going through it themselves so you have that connection of just knowing somebody gets what you’re feeling. Plus, you spend a lot more time with your Army girlfriends than regular girlfriends because while our husbands are deployed or out in the field for training for months at a time & the rest of our family is so far away, we become eachother’s family. We share everything together all the way from Christmas & Thanksgiving to birthdays & movie & dinner nights. When I’m having a particularly rough day, I call one of them and they talk me through it. Next day, when it’s their turn to have one of those “I just can’t handle this” moments, they call me & I try my best to encourage them & remind them that yes, it’s hard but we can do this!
There’s always the exception though……
As I warned you in my introduction blog, I am probably going to have more than one entry about missing my husband! Well, this is also true of my facebook status. I’m a pretty open book, always have been, and I’m not too good at hiding my feelings – sometimes that’s a good thing & sometimes that’s a bad thing. Either way, that’s just how I am. I have never been afraid to say what I’m thinking or feeling. My facebook status is as random as I’m sure my blog will be. I don’t feel like I talk only about my husband, but he is a HUGE part of my life so yes I do talk about him a good bit. In fact, I’m not even going to try & explain myself about how often I talk about him because even if every single status I wrote was about him, isn’t that MY right? Isn’t it MY facebook? I wasn’t aware that there were rules on what I could and couldn’t post….well, apparently SOMEBODY feels different.
I got an email from a fellow Army wife on our post today (who will remain un-named) that said she was “sooooooo tired” of me & anybody else talking about how much we love and miss our “hubbies”. She went on to explain how she has it so much worse than I have it because she doesn’t have kids to keep her busy & also she has it harder because they are newly married & have spent more time apart than together. She told me to “pull it together” and stop being weak because I am older than a lot of the other new wives & when I say I am missing my husband not only do I look bad but that I also make him look bad?????? Really? I’m confused……
I never realized that having a solid relationship with your husband & admitting you missed him made you weak. In fact, I think that being secure enough in yourself to not be afraid to open up & say how you feel is a strength. I can guarantee you my husband doesn’t have a doubt in his mind that I love him & miss him, and I’m proud that he can lay his head down every night knowing that I am 100% behind him no matter how far away he is. Yes, I have my bad days where I post how much I’m missing him or how hard it is, but all in all I feel like I’m handling this pretty well under the circumstances, if I do say so myself!
Now, I’m sure A LOT of my facebook friends (even the ones who won’t admit it) probably do roll their eyes a little when they see ANOTHER post from me about how much I love my soldier & how much I miss him. WIth that being said, not a single one of them has ever had the nerve to write me & tell me I need to stop. They get the fact that it is MY facebook and MY status. If they don’t want to hear about it, they don’t have to read it. They can even hide me or delete me. That would be ok with me. I’m just trying to figure out how another Army wife who is going through the same thing I am could feel like she has it so much worse & that nobody else has the right to talk about their husband or even be sad every once in a while?
I myself see statuses all the time from civilian wives who are complaining about their husband working late or having to be gone on an overnight business trip and how awful it is. Do I write & tell them to stop complaining and get over it because I haven’t seen my husband in 3 months? No, I don’t. Why not? Because I know that we all have our problems & that even though it doesn’t seem like a big deal to me that her husband is working a couple of hours late, I know that to her it is a big deal. I know that because I’ve been there. Until we joined the Army, the few nights my husband did have to work late enough that he missed a kid’s ballgame or was too late to have dinner with us, I was upset. I wasn’t thinking about the fact that there are other families who have it worse or that there are a lot of husbands & daddies out there that won’t have dinner with their family for an entire year straight. LIving this life has taught me to count my blessings & appreciate the things I do have more than the things I don’t have, but I still don’t try to minimize what other people are going through or feel like I’m the only one allowed to have bad days. We each have our own unique situations in life and you can’t lose compassion for other people because of the things you are going through.
If I wanted to play her game, I could tell her no, I have it way worse because I DO have kids to take care of & so not only am I sad because I’m missing my husband but I also have to see my little girl cry because she misses her daddy. I have to see my son sad because it’s yet another ballgame his dad won’t be at. I could also try to convince her that I have it so much worse because we aren’t newlyweds like she is & that we were married for so long before the Army that I was used to always having my husband by my side, that we have been life partners for so long that I’m not sure how to do it all on my own without him. I COULD say all that but I never would because I don’t think this is a contest to see who has it worse…..I think we ALL have it hard and that deployments are not any fun for anybody. Instead of trying to tear eachother down, we should be there for one another as we are all just trying to do the same thing – be the best wife we can be & stay strong for our family until this is all over. I am so very thankful that the majority of the wives I know share my feelings on this.
- dedicated to all my true friends who put up with my whining & still love me! You know who you are =)
There’s always the exception though……
As I warned you in my introduction blog, I am probably going to have more than one entry about missing my husband! Well, this is also true of my facebook status. I’m a pretty open book, always have been, and I’m not too good at hiding my feelings – sometimes that’s a good thing & sometimes that’s a bad thing. Either way, that’s just how I am. I have never been afraid to say what I’m thinking or feeling. My facebook status is as random as I’m sure my blog will be. I don’t feel like I talk only about my husband, but he is a HUGE part of my life so yes I do talk about him a good bit. In fact, I’m not even going to try & explain myself about how often I talk about him because even if every single status I wrote was about him, isn’t that MY right? Isn’t it MY facebook? I wasn’t aware that there were rules on what I could and couldn’t post….well, apparently SOMEBODY feels different.
I got an email from a fellow Army wife on our post today (who will remain un-named) that said she was “sooooooo tired” of me & anybody else talking about how much we love and miss our “hubbies”. She went on to explain how she has it so much worse than I have it because she doesn’t have kids to keep her busy & also she has it harder because they are newly married & have spent more time apart than together. She told me to “pull it together” and stop being weak because I am older than a lot of the other new wives & when I say I am missing my husband not only do I look bad but that I also make him look bad?????? Really? I’m confused……
I never realized that having a solid relationship with your husband & admitting you missed him made you weak. In fact, I think that being secure enough in yourself to not be afraid to open up & say how you feel is a strength. I can guarantee you my husband doesn’t have a doubt in his mind that I love him & miss him, and I’m proud that he can lay his head down every night knowing that I am 100% behind him no matter how far away he is. Yes, I have my bad days where I post how much I’m missing him or how hard it is, but all in all I feel like I’m handling this pretty well under the circumstances, if I do say so myself!
Now, I’m sure A LOT of my facebook friends (even the ones who won’t admit it) probably do roll their eyes a little when they see ANOTHER post from me about how much I love my soldier & how much I miss him. WIth that being said, not a single one of them has ever had the nerve to write me & tell me I need to stop. They get the fact that it is MY facebook and MY status. If they don’t want to hear about it, they don’t have to read it. They can even hide me or delete me. That would be ok with me. I’m just trying to figure out how another Army wife who is going through the same thing I am could feel like she has it so much worse & that nobody else has the right to talk about their husband or even be sad every once in a while?
I myself see statuses all the time from civilian wives who are complaining about their husband working late or having to be gone on an overnight business trip and how awful it is. Do I write & tell them to stop complaining and get over it because I haven’t seen my husband in 3 months? No, I don’t. Why not? Because I know that we all have our problems & that even though it doesn’t seem like a big deal to me that her husband is working a couple of hours late, I know that to her it is a big deal. I know that because I’ve been there. Until we joined the Army, the few nights my husband did have to work late enough that he missed a kid’s ballgame or was too late to have dinner with us, I was upset. I wasn’t thinking about the fact that there are other families who have it worse or that there are a lot of husbands & daddies out there that won’t have dinner with their family for an entire year straight. LIving this life has taught me to count my blessings & appreciate the things I do have more than the things I don’t have, but I still don’t try to minimize what other people are going through or feel like I’m the only one allowed to have bad days. We each have our own unique situations in life and you can’t lose compassion for other people because of the things you are going through.
If I wanted to play her game, I could tell her no, I have it way worse because I DO have kids to take care of & so not only am I sad because I’m missing my husband but I also have to see my little girl cry because she misses her daddy. I have to see my son sad because it’s yet another ballgame his dad won’t be at. I could also try to convince her that I have it so much worse because we aren’t newlyweds like she is & that we were married for so long before the Army that I was used to always having my husband by my side, that we have been life partners for so long that I’m not sure how to do it all on my own without him. I COULD say all that but I never would because I don’t think this is a contest to see who has it worse…..I think we ALL have it hard and that deployments are not any fun for anybody. Instead of trying to tear eachother down, we should be there for one another as we are all just trying to do the same thing – be the best wife we can be & stay strong for our family until this is all over. I am so very thankful that the majority of the wives I know share my feelings on this.
- dedicated to all my true friends who put up with my whining & still love me! You know who you are =)
Hello World, this is my blog
Does anyone really care what I have to say? Probably not (with the exception of my family & a few of my closest friends). The next question then is why start a blog? I don’t really have a good answer for that one except for the fact that I LOVE to talk & usally have a lot to say so why not? I am also living in a foreign country, away from my extended family & friends, so maybe this will help them keep up with what’s going on in my life (as if I don’t facebook enough for them to already do that hahaha).
So, I guess I should start by telling you a little about myself (let’s just ASSUME more people than my family & friends who already know me may actually read this….I doubt it but just in case, LOL. I am 32 years old, very happily married, and the mother of 2 awesome kids. My husband is in the Army & we are stationed in Germany until October 2012. He is currently deployed to Afghanistan for a year so right now it’s just me & the kiddos on our own. We didn’t join the Army until March 2009, after being married & living a “normal” life together for years, so this has been a huge adjustment for all of us. Never imagined I’d be moving to a whole different country so that in itself has been an adventure. I miss my family & friends back home like crazy but I’m making the most of the experience & enjoying seeing places I never even thought possible in my wildest dreams! The hardest part is being without my husband so much. Even before the deployment, he had long hours & lots of training in the field, and this has been a way harder experience than I even thought it would be (and believe me, I never though it would be easy!). The good part of that is it has made me appreciate him so much more than I already did & the good times together are just that much sweeter.
I work from home as a medical transcriptionist. I’ve been doing this since I was 18 years old & in a lot of ways it has been a blessing to me & in a lot of other ways, not so much! That’s a whole different topic in itself so I’m sure you’ll be reading more about it
I also couldn’t tell you who I am without telling you about my parents. I have the greatest parents in the world….yes, yes, I know you’ve heard people say that before but nope, they just THOUGHT theirs were the best when actually mine are!!!
They made me who I am today & I thank them so much for loving me & teaching me what unconditional love really is. I’m not perfect by any means, and even at this age I’m still working on trying to be the person I want to be. My philosophy on life is that there are no mistakes, just lessons! When I look back on my life, I honestly wouldn’t change a thing.I am very random so my blogs will probably be all over the place….one day I may talk about the Army life & the struggles that come with it & the next day I may write about vacations or places I’ve visited and my adventures in a foreign country. I’m also known to be pretty opinionated so there will be some blogs about hot topics & probably a few rants thrown in there. Oh, and I’ll go ahead and apologize beforehand about my multiple blogs whining about how much I miss my husband! You’re likely to hear about my job, my everyday issues, & good times with my friends. Most of all, I’m sure you’ll read plenty of entries about my husband & kids because family is the absolute most important thing in the world to me! No matter what you’ve done for yourself or for humanity, if you can’t look back on having given love and attention to your own family, what have you really accomplished? — Elbert Hubbard
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